To “live with abandon” means to live in complete surrender to something, with complete disregard for anything else. Usually, this abandon refers to following our natural instincts with total disregard for any moral restrictions. This, of course, is inevitably disastrous.
Paul lived with abandon, but not to his natural instincts. He lived with abandon to the task God had given him. He surrendered himself totally to this goal with disregard even for his own life.
“I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”
Obedience does not insure safety and physical health. In Paul’s case, he knew obedience would assure hardship and death. However, he lived with abandon to the cause of Christ. I don’t think he regreted it.
By the grace of God I don’t live with abandon to my natural inclinations. However, I also don’t live with abandon to God’s working in my life. Too much of the time I play it safe, holding too tightly to my life. I pray that God will give me grace not only to say No to the desires of my flesh but also to say Yes to his Spirit, even if that is not safe.